The golden rule here is to go with the invitation wording.  The names included are an indication of how far you can go in bringing companions.  For example: “and guest” leaves it pretty much up to you to select one person to attend with you, “and spouse” indicates your marriage partner only.
If it is addressed only to you then only you are invited.  If your children’s names or “and family” are included then all of your immediate family can come and alternatively if it is the other way round and they are not included.
Please do not bring someone if they are not invited, an additional guest is an extra expense and it would not be fair to impose on hospitality, remember their situation and try to support them for this special day.

The answer is simple … Just don’t.  You are sure to have your reasons if you really don’t want to go, nobody is going to blame you or have any bad feelings if you really can’t make it; the important thing here is to inform them as soon as possible so that you will not be included in the head count.  Additionally an early notice will also enable them to include someone else of whom they may have excluded in favour of you.  You can always send a congratulatory card to let them know that you wish them well.

Yes!  It would be highly inappropriate to just turn up.  The parties responsible need to know a fair idea of how many guest are going to attend so that they may suitably prepare and provide for them.  You cannot assume that they know your mind.  You are only dealing with yourself but they are dealing with many, imagine if everyone didn’t reply then just arrived on the day.

This is a personal issue which needs to be discussed between the two of you.  You will have to decide:

• If you would mind going on your own
• If your going by yourself will cause a problem between you
• If you should both stay away
• What impact the final decision will have on the wedding

Either way whatever the outcome is, you should inform the couple as soon as possible so they can organise or reorganise to suit.

Inform the couple in a reply as early as possible so arrangements can be made for any physical challenges you may have.  If your needs are of a dietary nature then just be selective about your choice.  In Barbados it is very often a buffet meal so you can choose to suit.  In the event of a set menu just eat what you can, you can always eat before or after.  If you cannot drink alcohol it would not matter if you toasted the couple with water, the importance is the meaning and sincerity behind it.